Craft Day: Cold Compress for Your Face

It's Craft Day here on the Mrs. Mitchell blog!  In honor of getting 4 impacted wisdom teeth pulled Friday, I'm going to show you how to rig a cold compress for your face when your oral surgeon doesn't give you one, but instead operates and kicks you out as fast as they can (for those of you who aren't children of a parent in the dental profession like me, "impacted" means the teeth are still under bone but steadily growing and threatening to ruin thousands of dollars in orthodontia).

Start with your poor swollen face that makes you look like you've been hitting the Twinkies waaaaay too hard.

Acquire 2 elastic headbands, 2 bags of ice or small cold packs, and a clean dish towel.

Arrange the ice packs about 4 inches apart on the towel and fold over.

If you have long hair like me, put it in a high ponytail.  This keeps the headbands from slipping down the back of your head.  Then, preferably with help from your smartass spouse who keeps calling you a chipmunk, slip the ice packs between your cheeks and headbands.  Adjust each headband to press the ice to your face in the most comfortable spots.  Only use ice for the first 24 hours no matter how soothing it is.  Use heat after that.

Warning:  Do not leave the house with this creation on your face.  You will draw pitying stares from adults and terrified cries from small children.

Good thing to come from this ordeal:  I have renewed vigor in starting a regular exercise regimen now that I have seen what my face would look like plus 50lbs.

The prescription pain medication I was given did absolutely nothing for me all of Friday.  It wasn't my mouth that hurt where 4 large teeth had been forcibly removed.  It was my sinuses and cheeks that kept me from sleeping.  I was finally fed up at 5am Saturday morning and took some of my trusty Excedrin Migraine that always takes away any and all pain.  It worked and I was elated that I was actually going to be able to function that day. 
Josh and I ended up going to town to run some errands and I left my hair down for once so that it could act as a curtain for my disfigured face.  Since it was Saturday and it actually crossed our minds to eat at Chikfila on a day other than Sunday, we grabbed lunch.  I was so sick of eating pudding and broth that I was determined to have chicken nuggets.  I know you're thinking my plan went awry and I ripped out all my stitched but no; I was able to take tiny bites and chew with my incisors so that I could swallow the delicious solid food.  Of course, this meant taking bites that made me look even more like a chipmunk stuffing its cheeks, which just made Josh laugh more.  I told him he's in trouble the next time he's sick or injured. 
Nah, it was ok.  We were both laughing at me.  As long as I wasn't in pain, I could laugh at how cartoonish I looked.  I said I looked like a pale Snooki without a bump-it.  He said he loved me and I was still beautiful.  Then he laughed at me some more.

I can't believe how terrible a reaction I had to the surgery.  When Josh had his 4 teeth removed, he had no pain, no swelling, and he didn't even fill the prescription for the pain medication.  He'll even admit that he's a "whiny bitch" when it comes to being sick or hurt so that's really saying something (I'm just chalking it up to the fact that his teeth weren't impacted).  I'm just dreading the fact that my post-op papers say that the swelling will be the worst 72 hours after surgery...right about the time I go back to work.  I work at a local bakery decorating cakes so I'm just going to beg to stay in the back and not talk to anyone so I don't have to scare any children.  (I know my face may not look terrible up there but it's gotten worse since that was taken Saturday morning)